Not A Perfect World

Anyone who has read very many of my prior posts should be aware that
I am a 5'0" tall medium-to-small-boned woman
who spent most of my adult life over 200 lbs, with a high of 271 lbs.

I have gained and lost over 100 lbs three separate times in my life.
Usually these this re-gains happened within about a 6 month time period,
simply by choosing to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Total freedom with food exacts a high price.

There are tall, large-boned women who can be attractive
and in good physical health at 200 lbs or more.
However, I am not one of these women.

I learned to accept and love myself, (through many years of therapy)
even when I was extremely obese.
That does not mean that I liked being enormously fat.

It has taken a great deal of very hard work to arrive at my current size,
and it takes a great deal of hard work to stay here.

I am very aware . . .from my own history. . .
that if I decide to allow myself to simply eat what I want whenever I want, 
that within 6 months to a year, I again will be 200, 270, or higher.

The only thing that would stop my body's weight ascent,
would be a return to controlled eating.
Then, I would have to control what I eat. . .
…to diet. . .just to stay 200, 250, or 300 lbs.
I know for a fact that there is no limit to how many lbs I can gain.
Therefore, I remain viligent and committed.

Like everyone else, I also want to be happy, healthy and free.
But for me, freedom with food, exacts a price I no longer want to pay.
In order to stay happy and healthy, I have to be willing to limit and control my eating.

Every Diet requires limits and controls over food intake.
In a perfect world, I could eat whatever I want, whenever I want to
and my body would adapt to a reasonable size.
But this is not a perfect world.