Please keep in mind that although I can share my experiences,
no one can tell you what successful maintenance will be like for you.
It's a very individual thing.

Some people find that it's best to continue counting calories,
and they do it indefinitely. Others find that they don't need to do that,
as long as they follow certain principles for themselves.

Another thing to keep in mind is that maintenance changes…
…it doesn't stay the same forever.
What works at first may not continue to work later on.
So it's good to be flexible and not box yourself in
to having to have things just one way.

Everyone who has been obese
and then reached their maintenance level
is concerned about regaining.

As you're losing weight, consider what maintaining might look like
in terms of how you eat. For a lot of people, "I will never eat a cookie"
just isn't realistic … and neither is "I will eat cookies whenever I want."
For them, the optimal path is somewhere in between.

Don't be fooled by what online calculators tell you you can eat to maintain.
Many people regain part of their lost weight by thinking
that they “should" be able to eat at a certain calorie level
without regaining, and it turns out that this is not true for them.

Each of us has to find out for ourselves.

What does normal mean?

The dictionary defines normal as:

* conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern;
* relating to average intelligence or development;
*  free from mental disorder: sane.

With regards to weight, normal is defined as
having a BMI between 18.5 and 24.9.

Many people consider the word “normal”
to mean “average”.

“Normal” is different things to different people.
Each of us have our own definition of what “normal” is.
Our viewpoint is influenced by our family and friends,
and our cultural and social background.

 The advertising media is part of our social background,
and have had a large part in shaping our concepts of “normal”
in our own lives, and the lives of our parents,
and even the lives of our grandparents and great-grandparents.

So, we tend to define “normal”
based on what we have been TOLD is normal.
The word for being not normal is “abnormal”.
The word “abnormal” simply means deviating from the normal or average,
but that word has a strongly negative connotation for most of us.

  Why is “normal” even important?
Because deep inside, most of us believe that
being “normal” is good, and
while being better than normal is good,
being “abnormal” is bad.

What is considered “normal” eating in our culture?

* Hamburgers go with french fries and a soda or milkshake.

*  Sandwiches go with potato chips and a soda.

*  Ice cream, cakes, pies, cookies. candy and other sweet desserts
should be frequently eaten as part of our normal meals;
as snacks; during social events; and especially all during holidays.

*  Chips and crackers and popcorn are acceptable between meal options
as well as excellent side dishes.

*  Cold cereals (most of which are 90%+ sugar)
are optional and suitable breakfast foods.

While dieting, those of us with weight problems
learn to eat differently than “normal” while we are losing weight.
But most of us expect to return to “normal” eating,
once we’ve achieved our goal weight.
  Unfortunately, when we do this, we regain our lost weight plus more,
and we beat ourselves up emotionally…because we aren’t “normal”.

I’ve found that in order to succeed at maintaining my large weight-loss,
it has been necessary for me to redefine normal.
My ongoing job is to establish a NEW normal.
That is what a change in lifestyle actually means.

There are many things in life that we can’t control,
but within each individual life,
there are other things that we do have control over.

Setting goals helps us take control of our lives.
It gives us a map to show us where we want to go,
instead of letting life just happen by accident.

Individually, we need to find out what our values really are,
so we can decide which goals we want to pursue
and what direction to aim our lives.

 Goals should be:

Positive.
State goals in positive rather than negative terms.
(like: “I am an organized person: instead of “I am not disorganized”
or “I eat 3 meals and nothing in between”, rather than “I don’t eat snacks”)

Present Tense.
State goals as though they are being realized right now,
or have already been attained. The subconscious mind operates in the present.
If we create goals in the future tense, our subconscious will never get there.

Personal:
Goals have to be about you, and under your control,
not about someone else.

Precise:
Goals should be realistic.
Achieving them must be within the realm of possibility.

Powerful.
Use words that convey action and emotion.

  Visualize success.
See yourself achieving your goal.
Picturing a positive outcome is helpful.
If we can see ourselves attaining a goal, we very likely will.
However, if we can’t muster up any image of success,
we very likely will fail.

Visualizing is something all of us do every day.
When we daydream, or think about someone we know,
or remember a place we visited, we are visualizing.
We can use this technique to help us achieve our goals
by seeing ourselves achieving them.

One of my forum friends recently posted the following statement:

“I have never found that allowing myself to eat whatever I want
stopped me from overeating it at some time.
Processed foods are powerful.
Even thin people overeat them, and sometimes become fat people.

That said, it is still crucial to allow those foods into my plan.
It is important to take away the emotional charge.
But the emotional charge is not the only stimulus.
However, in the right conditions--right amount of pleasure, rest, companionship--
I have them moderately and satisfyingly.”

  This has also been my own general overall experience.
Sometimes I delete specific food for specific time periods,
but eventually, I've always returned to the above-general behavior.

Will I always do that?  I don't know.
I like to always remain open to new possibilities.

Hope.
Each of us knows what it feels like.
Each of us wants to feel it.
But exactly what is it? How do we get it?

Hope is the emotional state
which promotes the belief in a positive outcome
related to events and circumstances in one's life.

It is the feeling that what we want can be had;
or that events will turn out for the best;
or that something desired may happen.

Hope comes into play when things are not going well
or at there’s considerable uncertainty about how things will turn out.
Hope opens us up, removes the blinders of fear and despair
and allows us to see the big picture,
which allows us to become creative and have belief in a better future.

 Hope is cultivated when we have a goal in mind,
determination that a goal can be reached,
and a plan on how to reach those goals.
Hopeful people are like the little engine that could,
because they keep telling themselves "I think I can, I think I can".

Hope is distinct from positive thinking,
which refers to reversing pessimism,
and the term "false hope" refers to a hope
based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.

That said...and as unlikely as it might seem...
I usually feel hopeful.

For those who are following my “Ask Grandma” videos
click to see my latest one: “You Are Stronger Than You Think”
which is located in DietHobby under RESOURCES, Videos, Ask Grandma.