Outdoor Activity
- POSTED ON: Oct 16, 2013

 


You Can't Outrun Your Fork
- POSTED ON: Sep 05, 2013




                           
We need to unhitch exercise from weight-management.

Exercise is great for health,
but weight-loss comes from the kitchen
.




Exercise is Not Likely to Be Your Ticket
             to the Weight-Loss Express
 

 Among the most commonly held misconceptions about obesity, perhaps none does more harm than the notion that exercise is responsible for the lion's share of weight management.

Sure, it's true that exercise does burn calories, and yes, if you burn more calories you ought to lose weight. But unfortunately, it's just not that simple.

To put exercise into some perspective, to lose a pound of weight each week would require roughly a marathon of effort each and every week, as the calories burned running those 26.2 miles would likely be in the neighborhood of a pound's worth. Of course, it would also necessitate that not once did you "eat because you exercised" – neither as an indulgence to reward yourself for all that running, nor as a consequence to any running-induced hunger. Seems to me that'd be pretty unlikely.

Looking at real-world studies of exercise and its impact on weight, the results are underwhelming to say the least. Take this 2007 study published in the journal Obesity. Researchers instructed 196 men and women to exercise an hour a day, six days a week, for a year! And researchers weren't just telling people to exercise, they were supervising them and instructing them as well.

Compliance was incredible – only seven study dropouts – and over the course of the year, men averaged 6.16 hours of weekly exercise, and women, 4.9 hours. So did the 320 hours of exercise for the men and the 254 hours for the women lead to weight loss? Yes, but probably less than you might have guessed. Men lost, on average, 3.5 pounds, and women, 2.6. That translates to 91.5 hours of exercise per pound lost.

Now, to be very clear, there is likely nothing better for your health than exercise – truly nothing. There's no pill you can take and no food you can include or avoid that will give you the health benefits of regular exercise. I exercise regularly, and I strongly encourage all of my patients to do so as well. But I also tell them that they can't outrun their forks.

The notion that moving more will translate to weight loss is a dangerous one. For individuals, it may effectively discourage exercise when results aren't seen on scales. For the media and entertainment industries, it often leads to the perpetuation of the "people-with-obesity-are-just-lazy" stereotype. For the food industry, it allows an embrace of exercise by means of sponsorship and marketing, which, in turn, helps companies deflect product blame and forestall industry-unfriendly legislation.

And for public policy makers, it makes it challenging to make the case for interventions that increase exercise, as inevitably the outcome hoped for is weight loss, and when outcomes are poor, it becomes more difficult to make the case that the intervention is worthwhile (like P.E. or more recess time in schools, for instance).

We need to unhitch exercise from our weight-management wagons. Breaking it down, figure that your diet is responsible for 80 percent of your weight and fitness – unless you're incredibly active, just 20 percent. If WEIGHT's your concern you're much more likely to lose it in your kitchen than you are in your gym. But don't forget, if it's Health you're after, you need to do both.

Whoever said life was fair?

 by Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, M. D. - 9/4/2013 - US News, Health & Wellness 


Yoni Freedhoff, MD, is an assistant professor of family medicine at the University of Ottawa, where he's the founder and medical director of the Bariatric Medical Institute—dedicated to non-surgical weight management since 2004. Dr. Freedhoff posts on  www. Weighty Matters.


It's Not Really About the Fat - Health At Any Size
- POSTED ON: Aug 13, 2013

 An Article Worth Reading.
 



 

It’s Not Even About My Fat
          by Ragen Chastain. Dancer, Choreographer, Writer, Speaker, Fat Person.

Ever since I posted about doing a marathon I’ve been getting tons of hate mail. I got an e-mail that said “A part of me sincerely hopes you die doing that marathon so that others will see you can’t be over 300lbs and act like it doesn’t matter, you need to lose weight!”

This illustrates something that people who fat bash for fun, profit, or pleasure often try to disguise behind claims that it’s “because of our health” or “for our own good.” A lot of fat bashing has almost nothing to do with us being fat per se.

For starters, let me take a shot at re-wording this person’s comment: “A part of me sincerely hopes you die doing something that you like to do, so that other fat people don’t get the idea that they can do things that they like to do, as if the shame and stigma that I want to heap upon all of you doesn’t matter. You need to hate yourself like I want you to and do what I say!”

A lot of the social stigma that fat people face can serve to make us second class citizens – clothing stores use our purposeful exclusion as a marketing strategy, hospitals don’t bother to purchase equipment that will help keep us alive, the government is actively encouraging our employers, friends, and families to stereotype us based on how we look.


When we refuse to bow to this and we live the lives we want to live – doing a marathon, wearing a fatkini, going to see that band we like, eating at the new restaurant- or engage in activism to make the world better for us, this can be seen as “rising above our station”. There are people who count on fat people trying to solve social stigma by changing ourselves. When we decide to solve social stigma by ending social stigma, the people who profit – monetarily and/or emotionally – from our attempt to change ourselves can start to get antsy. Or completely panicked and pissed off.

There are people for whom conforming to societal norms by getting as close as possible to the stereotype of beauty is incredibly important, and something at which they throw a tremendous amount of time, energy, and money. People are absolutely allowed to do that. It goes wrong when these people start to resent and become angry with those of us who make different choices.

I think that one of the most powerful types of activism fat people can do is live our lives unapologetically. In the world we live in, waking up and not hating ourselves is activism. So going to that show, or wearing the awesome sweater we crocheted, entering a 5k, getting a scooter and going to Vegas, or whatever we do that isn’t hating our bodies – are acts of revolution. Every single time a fat person refuses to be silenced, hidden, kept away, or kept out of an activity it is a revolutionary act.

There are many fat people who are afraid to do the things that they want to do and that’s totally ok and understandable. Outside of not trying to take away people’s civil rights, I’m not trying to tell anyone how to live. As I have said before, if someone reads my work and realizes that fat people deserve to be treated with respect that’s great, but the goal of most of my work is to suggest/remind fat people that we deserve to be treated with respect.

I don’t do things to inspire people (that’s way too much pressure) I do thing that I like to do. So I don’t care if I ever “inspire” anyone to do a marathon, but if my doing a marathon, or wearing a bikini, or stubbornly refusing to hate myself, helps another fat person go to bingo, or join a quilting circle, or go read a book in the park, or do anything that they want to do, then I’ll be thrilled.

Ragen Chastain blogs at www. danceswithfat.wordpress.com
                 and describes herself as: Dancer, Choreographer, Writer, Speaker, Fat Person.
See her DANCE in the Video at the bottom of this page. 

                                 What is Behavior-Centered Health?
          It is a health practice in which healthy choices and behaviors are the goal, not a particular size, weight, or shape.

                                                       What is Health at Every Size?
          1. Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes

          2. Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional, and intellectual aspects

          3. Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of all sizes

          4. Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutritional needs, hunger, satiety, appetite, and pleasure

          5. Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss.

Dances With Fat
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness
are Not Size Dependent


Biggest Loser, an example of televised exercise fraud
- POSTED ON: Aug 11, 2013


                     
For several seasons, I watched “The Biggest Loser”, as well as several other “weight-loss shows”, and I formed some personal opinions based on my focused attention.
I’ve also read quite a few follow-up interviews by people involved in the show – including contestants.

As a result, I’ve now chosen to boycott this type of TV “reality” weight-loss program. The article below was written by an exercise professional, and it accurately reflects many of my own thoughts on this subject.

Fat Farm 
          by David Landau

In recent years Television has attempted to show the world what real life in America is all about. But in television unfortunately, there is not a control in order to turn up the brightness (intelligence). Be as it may, this is how many individuals do their research. Unfortunately many of them are stuck in television’s land of illusion. Much of what TV provides is promulgated half truths in the form of propaganda. The great philosopher Eric Hoffer once said, “Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to deceive themselves.” Knowing this, witty TV producers have consequently spawned a variety of shows that have come under the umbrella of what is labeled “Reality Television.” Like TV hasn't had its fair share of providing a fountain of misinformation. So therefore the reality has to be real; sure!

This concept of Reality TV more or less involves a type of programming that supposedly mirrors real world situations which feature the unscripted documented lives of genuine common folk. But if this were to be really true, the TV viewing audience would quickly abort those channels and never venture back to them again. After all, they would be looking in the proverbial mirror at the same sad said pathetic scenes they have often seen in their own lives. To take this actuality a bit further, someone else said, “Television enables you to be entertained in your own home by people you wouldn't have in your home.” The truth is, TV becomes sociological nightmare that spawns a show of its own, that could be called, “As the Public Turns.”

People however; need and want to get away (at least for a while from their dreary lives), so they turn to television. But as someone once said, “Television is not the Truth. Television is god-damned amusement park. Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers and football players. We're in the boredom killing business.” Regardless of the aforementioned warning, the allure of TV continually stays fresh, even though the entertainment is often the same ole, same ole.

The producers of the “reality” genre have in many cases cherry picked fledgling third rate actors/actresses to fall in with the rest of the so called common “real” folks. With the additional dash of cleverly done scripting, editing, and post production trickery and voila – we have the emptiness of “real TV.” The perpetrators of this feigned rendering of faith certainly know their market. It has conveniently revolved around the typical American lifestyle. Case in point; today’s habitual American way of life is centered on the good old 9 to 5, or at least a great deal of it is. Prime time television has focused on this built in target of this traditional humanistic routine. In these dreary economic times, the common stressed out syndrome trickles in. People will seek their outs to de-stress so to speak. Middle age has set in or is just around the corner. Their leisure time becomes TV time and many are conveniently couched in for the nightly news and the network battles. Fantasy television arrives after 8 pm.

In recent years a craze has flourished in the ultimate form of this made to order “Reality Television.” But as it is in many cases, the trap of Reality TV simply fits the bill for many of those who are sedentary couch potatoes. It becomes habitual and “fitting,” just sit to down in the easy chair and get ready to surf the hundreds of TV channels that have you ready made for the taking. But alas, Reality TV is no more or less again a venue of generic entertainment that portrays very little liking to “real life occurrences.” But of course this vogue has become far reaching to the point where this idealism somehow portrays some “truth”.

Everyone these days is jumping on the bandwagon of “health and fitness.” Notwithstanding, Reality TV has waded knee deep into the “exercise” industry. Appearing out of thin air and looking for the easy mark, they are now presenting shows on how to “exercise” and diet to combat obesity. The most popular of these programs are sickening entertainment at best. The validity of this so called reality (as many before it), at best is specious. Again, fraught with the most suspect of all fitness marauders, these shows have hired these bottom basement performers. Unfortunately some of their targets are the clinically obese population. This gives false hope to many that watch, some of which may be morbidly obese. But nevertheless, they have put poor fatty at the center of attention. We'll call this show; “everyone’s a loser!”

Upon cursory observation, their approach is insane at best. They are worlds away from undoing genetic situations that are far beyond fixing in the manner they are exhibiting. But this is the classic example of the quick fix that rarely if ever takes hold once the charade is over. Such is television folks! These are not real life situations; they are anything but. So in actuality, the show is a mere fantasy. The existing episodes can be capsulated by their preoccupation of terrible muscle wasting activities that merely cause dangerous exhaustion and fatigue. Case in point; back over a century and a half ago, these exertions were seen as the worst of all menial jail labor. It was loathsome drudgery bound punishment for those that committed the most hideous of crimes.

Boy, how times change for the better? It was in the days before running water and electricity, whereas man and animal power stood arm and arm. The energy was in the form of human power and if it were appropriate today, we could harness some of this power and put it to good use. But this is hardly ever the case. What was human bondage yesterday is glorified as an exercise routine today. History therefore repeats itself in an ironic and pathetic parody. There is a Fat chance you could ever point this fact out, to all but a few. It can be simply summed up by the fact the body works as a scale and has a limited amount of reserves; whatever goes up, must come down (energy expenditure). The hidden factor in these shows is the forced descending dietary intake prescribed; pure and simple.

Their army - boot camp style based exertions (often in the mud) are actually dangerous, degrading, and counterproductive in the least sense. “Trainers” or actors as you might are literally treating their subjects like dogs. If you take an actual farm animal like a Pig, you will notice they are extremely active but are still fat, active pigs. Again, as stated often, it is not nice to mess with Mother Nature. But nonetheless, on come the pretentious fitness humanitarians that are merely pathetic poor man’s performers portraying themselves as experts in the exercise arena. Nothing ever changes!

The television ratings for such garbage are beyond any rational understanding. In a “Real” world, these phonies would be thrown in jail and likely subject to their own suggested exertions as punishment. This is likely the worst case of fraud since the early exposure of the predetermined and rigged “quiz shows.” But everyone loves a popular winner, and for a while what looked to be totally on the up and up, wasn’t. But no one was hurt and no one went to jail. However, it is still sickening the way these Fitness Reality Shows actually have the following and ratings they do. True reality however is the final arbitrator, and sorry to say this is a hoax at best. It is simply a sad exposure of a group of people, some clinically obese, that may likely need real professional care.

The “fitness fakers” portrayed are simply sad pathetic morons making these predetermined genetic situations worse. These egotistical trainers show us only one thing for sure; it is self evident their conceptual range is profoundly limited. But remember again, TV is entertainment and has very little or nothing to do with the truth, especially in this scenario. The illustration of proper and appropriate fat loss would make an extremely boring show and would never sell. The truth has nothing to sell and therefore the Bull Shit will continue to march on!

In order to clearly understand the dreadful shortcomings here, there are lucid truisms showing up in history. With an inordinate abundance of opinionated ways to get thin, you would figure with all of this information available (with the inclusion of prime time TV), there would be a population of skin – skin - skinnies. Lets KISS (keep it simple stupid) and show truth does exist in a simple buried gem from History.

Samuel Blythe


Good old Samuel Blythe was no more than a common man, but a man who saw the forest through the trees. The year was 1911 and Samuel although not a genius, understood what common sense was. He knew there were simple, but hard solutions for fat loss - for he was a “victim” of being amongst the overweight. He noted there were more systems of diet than there were religions. He practically tried them all, but all he got from the experience was the fact there was a sucker born every minute with two to take him. So from his own intuition and vast experience, he had to learn the hard truth through the experience of the “right way”. He knew it was a tough game, especially if one were predisposed to being fat.

After “running” through the treadmill of exercise and diets, he decided to take a step back to understand why he got so fat in spite of his efforts. Throughout his formal years, he was inherently a barrel chested and broad shouldered lad. He had an insatiable appetite that caused him to balloon from 185 pounds at maturity, to an extremely rotund 247. Knowing 300 was just around the corner, he knew something had to be done or else he would have been done! He looked over his intake of food and drink. Sammy found out through the process of elimination that he was eating at least 60% more than he required and was downing alcohol at an alarming rate that was undesirable at best. He reasoned the similarity of predicament to his simple understanding of how they fattened livestock. He figured he was just part of the herd so to speak. Previously, he had gone through several dietary wars with discarded diets that cost him over 200 dollars for each try. He finally figured it was a numbers game that could be won by cutting down the portions and balancing them out. He decided to diminish the quantity of his intake of food and not the variety. He had developed a personal liking over the years for his favorite foods and he wasn’t going to get rid of them. He simply reduced the amount over time and made his adjustments gradually.

Samuel knew in order to succeed at this “nonscientific approach” as he called it, he could not be in an impossible hurry to win the battle of the bulge. In the failed attempts leading up to this conclusion, he saw he lacked the patience needed to make his journey a success. He still enjoyed his desserts and breads, but simply ate less of them over time. Instead of chowing down a big pie, he ate a much smaller one for his desert and eventually cut out alcohol altogether. He was steadfast in losing the fat over a much longer period of time and it worked like a charm! In this process there were absolutely no lifestyle changes (other than no more beer) and that included no additional exercise or activity. There was a systemic adjustment that occurred from doing it over a longer period of time; his gradual modification allowed his stomach to acquiesce to the lesser intake of food stuffs; therefore no hunger pangs existed. He kept his weight off for the rest of his life and expressed he had gained a new lease which was most enjoyable. He was so impressed by his accomplishment, he wrote the book about his experience, entitled; The Fun of Getting Thin.


Lifestyles are individual and made better from successful choices which are unique to each person outside of the collective’s questionable opinions. The indiscriminate following of a trend or fad, especially one perpetrated by television hoaxes; allows for certain failure. Fitness Reality TV is a terrible farce. It literally makes fools out of people who are unfortunately exhibited as overweight contestants in a carnival like setting.

Certainly popular culture can take the blame in exposing something to the masses that in reality does far more harm than help. But again, such idiocy sells and makes millions of dollars as a result. Unfortunately, it only allows those really in need of help (most don't), to do their research by way of TV and popular magazines. These notions and solutions are worse than dead end roads, as there is no way out. The activities under the name of exercise shown should have a forewarning. Do Not Try This at Home or anywhere for that matter. This is malpractice at its best.

The people that are the subjects are comprised of those simply embarrassed about the weight they have gained through the years. In today’s “society,” being overweight is seen to be not culture friendly. A few of the others exhibited on these TV aberrations, are borderline to morbid obesity. They are in need of clinical and professional help to get them on a better track. This is not an indictment on the people who carry those extra pounds. On the contrary, they have been unfairly exposed by TV and these arrogant and obnoxious “Hollywood” trainers who are worse than useless! Don’t be fooled about the feigned concern of these trainer actors, it is a scripted nightmare! They are either guilty of unbelievable stupidly or outright criminal fraud, regardless of the supposed sincerity of their misguided beliefs! As a result, I will refuse to remain silent in the onslaught of such outrage.


David Lanau – fitness trainer for past 30 years,
whose focus is to separate facts from fiction, exposing exercise fraud. www. ExerciseFraud.com


The Myth of Spot Reducing
- POSTED ON: Apr 07, 2013


The fitness industry continually LIES to people about all the amazing, incredible (impossible) results they can get if they just do this one exercise, use this one protein powder, or buy this one piece of equipment.
But here is the truth about “spot reducing”.

Everyone is born with a shape. It might be a typical female pear – lean upper body and curvy hips and thighs. It might be a bit more square or apple-shaped with fat distributed more equally around the body and perhaps a bit of belly. Whatever that unique body shape may be, try to embrace it, because … with effort … it can be improved, but NEVER changed. The skinny areas can be toned, and eating less can keep body fat in a healthy range, but THAT’S IT.
No trainer can do anything about your body type or shape.

You are who you are. When you lose fat, you lose it from every part of your body almost equally. In the areas that you have little fat - like your shoulders or your face - you'll notice that fat loss more quickly because there is less to lose and the underlying muscle will show through more quickly. In the areas where you are genetically predisposed to store fat - like your bottom and thighs - you will notice the loss more slowly because an ounce of fat lost here or there will be just a drop in the bucket. So you will have to lose a substantial amount of weight in order to really slim down your natural fat deposits.

Repeat after me:  “I am grateful to have a human body that works.”

While we’re on this subject, here’s an excellent article:


The Best Way To Minimize Trouble Spots
      by Julia Gumm - April 6, 2013 -180degreehealth.com

What’s that one part of your body you hate? Oh come on, I know you have one. For me, it’s always been my arms. Sure, I have issues with my tummy, my chin, my eyelashes…but really, the problem is my arms.

Not willowy nor cut, these babies are chubby. They were chubby when I lifted weights. They were chubby when I did a ton of cardio. They were chubby when I did a ton of drugs. Chub-E (cottage) Cheeses. It seemed that no matter how many tricep kick backs Denise Austin chirped me through, I always had that unsightly jiggle when I waved goodbye. That’s what she always pointed to as an incentive to stick with her program- not having that kind of epic disaster wreck your day anymore. Jiggling arms? G.R.O.S.S!

So what happens when you do your sensible 20 minute workout three or four times per week, eat a reasonably healthy diet, lead a fairly active life and yet, you’re still hauling around a couple of ham hocks? Hocks that do indeed jiggle when you wave goodbye, (if you dare)? I guess a couple of things could happen. One, you just might realize that we are all different, you are simply not cut out to have trim arms and that’s ok. No need to go crazy trying to maintain a body type that doesn’t come naturally to you, for heavens sake. Alternately, you could allow yourself to be bothered enough to wear long sleeves on warm days, sometimes make disparaging remarks about your appearance, but leave it at that.

Or, if you’re the kind of person who obsessively reads health blogs, you could decide that you are ugly and misshapen and if you dare let such an unsightly abhorrence languish on your frame you’re doing nothing less than alert the world to your slovenly laziness, which, on top of your cosmetic imperfections, will no doubt condemn you to a miserable life absent of true self-confidence and the best of romantic success. Or something like that.

I, of course, went with the latter approach.

You know what follows. First you eat a little less and work out a little more. Still no change. Alright, maybe the workout needs to be more intense. Hmm, maybe some improvement, but not enough. Ok, maybe I need to eat even less? No, huh? Ok, how about not at all. How about if I don’t hardly eat at all and still get my workouts in? On top of my actual workout, what if I do isometric squeezes whenever I find myself sitting still and unable to access a dumbbell? Here we go, now I’m looking smaller…but the shape is still the same, that is to say, lacking a shape. Just a disgusting slab-o-fat.

Damn that Denise Austin, I am doing EXACTLY what she told me to do, my arms are twice the size of hers and she is twice (thrice?) my age. What. The. Hell.

And then the magic cures! South Beach! Atkins! Cardio! No Cardio! Light weights, high repetitions! Heavy weights, low repetitions! Not weights, resistance bands! Not resistance bands, your own body weight! Yoga! Pilates! Carefully controlled portion sizes! High protein! High fiber! Low fat! High fat? Screw it all, bulimia!

So here’s a novel question: Why? When taken to extremes, it’s clear to any rational person that the goal is no longer health and a reasonable personal best. Rather, the hope is to transform yourself into something totally different, something culturally approved, something ideal.

When did we accept this kind of insidious self-hatred as normal? Beyond normal, enviable even? When did we decide that someone who may think a person is taking their obsession with perfection too far is in fact, a “hater?” And haters gon’ hate! Dinner tonight is kale, 4 oz of protein and a jog!

What happens then, when you reach that perfection, if you ever do? Are you really healthier? Happier? More whole? Did the anger of a rotten childhood dissolve? Did your relationships improve? Was the pain of not being the prettiest, the best, the most admired, finally banished from your heavy heart? Did taming your thighs make you feel accomplished? Powerful? At long last, in control? Will tending to a high-maintenance figure for the rest of your life give you purpose? Order in the chaos? An assured cache of compliments at holiday dinners, friends who wish they too, could be as disciplined and fit as you?

At what point did we find it applaudable to look at pictures of other people and say “instead of looking like me, I want to look like her.” Why don’t we balk at the suggestion in the magazines to cut out those pictures and paste them to our refrigerators? Pictures to remind us that instead of feeding ourselves, we should be punishing ourselves. Instead of eating what we want when we’re hungry, we should instead be perpetuating a cycle of shame, guilt and jealousy. You are not enough as you are, is the message. Or rather, you are too much as you are. Don’t eat again. Have a glass of water. Take a diet pill. Maybe have some carrot sticks. Work out instead. You don’t want to be stuck in that body of yours forever, do you? Who will love you? Certainly not yourself, that’s for sure.

So yeah, I have fat arms. On occasion, they make fitting into cute blouses a problem. Under the garish light of the dressing room, it’s a sorry sight to behold. Arms packed like sausages into sleeves too small, every imperfection highlighted for me, god and thankfully no one else to see. And hey, is that a zit on my chin?

It’s enough to make a girl go home and dine on a salad for dinner and nothin’ but shame for dessert.

And yet, I still have these arms.

Maybe instead of trying to physically minimize them, there is a way to minimize the space they take up in my head.

One day, when going through old pictures I happened across a photo of my mother, who passed when I was young. I always felt my mother was very beautiful despite perhaps not being ideally lovely. I guess most children feel that way about their moms. Maybe that’s what happens when we love, we see beauty where unforgiving eyes see flaws. Well, when I studied the picture carefully, I realized I have my mother’s arms, exactly. Right down to the nubby little elbow peaking out from underneath a rather substantial tricep, leading down the forearms to squarish, fleshy hands. Her arms, warm, powerful things that held me as a baby and hugged me as a child. Here I am, carrying around these living monuments to the woman who made me, and all I want to do is whip them into something they are not. What if I had a daughter and she too, had these arms? How would I feel if I noticed her glaring at herself in the mirror, woefully gripping the weight with tense fingers, a wish to be something other than herself etched in the grooves of her frown?

Of course I would feel awful. I would question myself for ever giving her the idea that she is not wonderful the way she is, I would admonish myself for not building her up enough to be immune to the influence of an unfeeling culture that stands to profit off of low self-esteem. When I’d watch her struggle to make herself more beautiful, my heart would ache for the uselessness of it. Because already she would be beautiful! How could I make her see?

There is a striking dissonance between how we treat the people we care about and how we treat ourselves. If you aren’t filing yourself under the “People I Love” category in your brain, you can be led to do lots of silly, painful things that deep down, aren’t going to make you feel any better. So the next time you stand in front of a mirror and sneer at your less than flat abs or get angry with yourself for having enjoyed a dessert, ask yourself why. Why is perfection so important? What does it matter and who does it matter to? Remember that exactly who you are has been crafted by eons of evolution and the passion of your descendants. You are an incredible thing.
 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Behold. You are beautiful. Go forth from that place. Afford yourself the love and acceptance you grant those dear to you, dear. No one deserves it more than you. No really. You and those big honkin’ thighs of yours.


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