Friends
- POSTED ON: Jun 27, 2011

                                        

 i agree with Thomas Miller, who said:

"If you have one true friend, you have more than your share."

There are acquaintences, and there are friends.
These are not the same thing.

  What is friendship?

A friend is someone who you like, respect, and trust;
and who likes, respects and trusts you;

doesn’t always understand you;
but accepts and likes you as you are;
even as you grow and change.

A friend allows you the space to change, grow, make decisions, and even make mistakes;
listens to you and shares with you, both the good times and the bad times;
respects your need for confidentiality so you can tell them anything;
lets you freely express your feelings and emotions without judging, teasing, or criticizing.

A friend gives you good advice when you want and ask for it;
assists you in taking action that will help you feel better;
and works with you in difficult situations to figure out what to do next;
accepts your self-defined limitations and helps you to remove them.

A friend lets you help them when they need it.
You want to be with them,
but you aren’t obsessed about being with them.
A friend doesn’t ever take advantage of you.

Friendship is a continuing source of bonding, releasing, and creating
in yourself and with the other person. There is an emotional bond.
A good friend or supporter may or may not be your age or the same sex as you;
come from the same educational, cultural, or religious background;
or share interests that are similar to yours.

Friendships also have different depths;
some are closer to the heart, some more superficial
--but, whether they are real, true friends or merely acquaintances --

 all of these friend-type-relationships can be useful and good.

 How do you make friends? 
As Dale Carnegie said:

 "You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people, 
than you can in two years
by trying to get other people interested in you."


Better than what?
- POSTED ON: Jun 26, 2011

This relates to dieting, weight-loss, and maintenance of weight loss,
and every other activity in our lives as well.

The famous Russian dancer, Mikhail Baryshnikov, said: 

"I do not try to dance better than anyone else.
I only try to to dance better than myself."


Our Ideal Self
- POSTED ON: Jun 25, 2011

                        
Everyone who tries to lose weight has ups and downs
that go with their hopes and expectations.
A big part of that task is to keep from
getting discouraged enough to give up. 
 The easiest pounds to lose are the first few,
which are usually water weight.
The beginning of a diet usually inspires the false hope
that shedding the rest of the pounds will be easy.

But plateaus come in waves
as the body accommodates to the new caloric intake
and becomes more efficient.
Just as a machine can become more highly tuned,
the body can get more out of fewer calories,
and tends to hold on to the calories it has to work with. 

  During periods of failure to lose weight, despite sticking rigidly
to the prescribed caloric intake and exercise regimen,
people begin to falter and lose hope.

We all have an ideal self, which is the self that we wish to be.
Failing to achieve that self and fulfill its goals
can lead to self-criticism and devaluation.
Harsh internal judgments lead to a sense of failure,
hopelessness, and depression. 

 When we decide to diet,
we make an internal resolution and expect to live up to it.
We can have initial success, and then the road gets rougher.
We get to those inevitable plateaus that we will either overcome
or that will overcome us.
We can come closer to affirming our ideal self,
or feel disappointment in ourselves.

The capacity to make changes into habits requires perseverance.
We must consistently work to develop new behaviors
that we hope will become automatic.

The first time we change a habit,
it is hard and we are very conscious of the effort it takes.
The more times we do it, the more it becomes grooved,
and then, gradually, we can do it automatically.

Pride in our weight-loss accomplishment then can
become a greater pleasure than that snack in which
we might have previously indulged. 

 We find our self-esteem enhanced when we live up to our goal;
get reinforcement from the scale instead of punishment;
and thereby live up to our slimmer and trimmer ideal self.

Some of us are super-critical of ourselves.
It helps to examine our the ideal and set realistic goals,
because this can reduce the harshness of our internal judgment
when a goal is not attained.
Essentially, we need to learn to be kinder and gentler to ourselves.
and treat ourselves the way we might treat others.

How can we be kind to ourselves at moments of "failure?"
First, aim high, but never underestimate the difficulty of the undertaking.
Every quest has its pitfalls and many skirmishes and battles are lost
before winning a war. When we are wounded by a "defeat",
we need some kind words for ourselves.

It is important to remember that these are our own private battles,
where each of us is the General.
We set the goals, we know our weaknesses.
Our strategy must include a way to handle temporary setbacks,
but if we keep our eyes on the prize,
we will recognize any defeat is temporary,
and that we will ultimately reach our goals.

 Take small steps and be gentle with yourself about weight-loss.


The Present
- POSTED ON: Jun 24, 2011

Today is really all we have,
and we need to focus on living in it.

And yet ...at the same time...we need to remember
that the choices we make today
will affect our tomorrows.


Doing the Impossible
- POSTED ON: Jun 23, 2011

                               

I've been thinking about what "Doing the Impossible" means.
In my life, I've accomplished many "impossible" things.

  At one time, losing 150 lbs and maintaining
all of that weight loss for 6 years seemed impossible,
but it is something I've accomplished.

As a mid-century young woman wth a blue-collar background,
becoming a lawyer was such an impossiblity,
that in my youth, I found it too incredible to even imagine,
let alone fantasize about.
But I ultimately entered that profession and practiced law for 25 years.

There were times in my life that I didn't know how
I was going to manage living even one more day.
 But I did it, and now I'm in my mid-60s, 
 and am enjoying my "elderly" years.

Just a few years ago, the idea of having my own website,
writing daily Blog articles, and making YouTube videos
was beyond consideration, yet now I'm doing it.

 I started by doing what was Necessary.



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