For several years, I have been corresponding with a person
who remains mired in obesity primarily due to her inability
to resist the allure of Intuitive Eating.

In her defense of her current Intuitive Eating Program,
she recently said:

"There's some sort of saying I've heard
about how thoughts affect feelings which affect behavior,
and this hypnosis program tries to change thoughts and feelings". 

I believe that positive thoughts can change our feelings (emotions)
and therefore result in a change in our behavior.

However this is a psychological process.
while
Hunger involves a physiological process.

We use the word "feelings" for two different sensations.

feelings can be emotions = psychology
feelings can be body sensations ….. hunger = physiology

This is the basic flaw in the theories of Intuitive Eating.

When I experience the strong feelings that tell me I need to urinate,
I can think positive thoughts, and this can make me feel better emotionally,
however, these thoughts will not change my body's physical sensations
which are associated with the physiological process of urination,
and…ultimately …. my body will follow through with the specific behavior
that my body feels is needed.

Urination is an physical process, over which we have learned
to achieve a measured amount of control,
and when we receive the signals from our body,
we don't have to give in immediately, and
we can choose to temporarily delay the process of elimination.
If we do not choose to delay…we will commit a socially unacceptable act.
and, eventually …no matter what we are thinking… the body will do what it does.

Hunger is also a physical process, over which we have learned
to achieve a measured amount of control.
and when we receive the signals from our body,
we don't have to give in immediately, and
we can consciously choose to delay the process of eating,
and we can consciously choose what foods to use to satisfy that immediate hunger.

However, if an obese, or reduced obese, person eats only in response
to the signals of their body (feelings of hunger)
they will remain fat…
(which some consider a socially unacceptable act)

Because the body has it's own agenda,
It will do everything it can to protect its fat stores.
An obese person's body isn't going to naturally try to become normal weight,
the obese person's body sees it's job is to keep its fat.

All of the positive thinking in the world
will never change the natural inner workings of the body.

We can't fly.
We must urinate.
Hunger signals from an obese, or reduced obese, body
come from the body's perceived need to protect fat stores,
and despite positive thinking .. no matter what our emotions tell us…
Once we have become Obese,..or reduced obese..
our bodies will signal us to eat in a way that will make and keep us fat.

In order to become normal weight, and stay normal weight,
we … who are obese or formerly obese...
will ALWAYS have to over-ride our body's "natural" signals,
and use the CONSCIOUS PROCESS of choosing to eat
the types and amounts of food that will keep our body normal weight.

Intuitive eating is a lovely fairy tale.
But Prince Charming is never coming with a glass slipper,
and an obese person will never become normal weight by listening to their body.

                     
I'm always interested in reading new dieting books
about new dieting plans, and unique ways to eat
in order to lose weight or maintain weight-loss.

Here in 2012, with regards to my dieting hobby,
I'm having difficulty finding anything that looks
"new and unique" to me.

I've been doing Google searches,
and searches of new publications at Amazon,
but nothing stands out.

My primary dieting method continues to be
logging all my food into my computer software program,
and counting calories…working to keep my calorie count
lower than my body's energy burn….
The simple measurement for this is …
If I'm gaining weight over time,
then I'm eating more calories than my body burns.

I've studied the issue of metabolism,
and come to the conclusion that any possibility of raising
one's metabolism by what one eats, or how one exercises,
is a crock of ****.

I'm still very interested in the Habit concepts set forth in The No S Diet,
and I continually research and experiment with possibilities
of implementing more Habit concepts in my own dieting life.

The last two years, I learned a great deal about low carb, zero carb,
zero wheat, and Paleo ways of eating.

For a few years before that, I investigated and experimented
with different types of fasting plans,
like QOD, Alternate Day Eating, Eat Stop Eat, Fast 5, etc.

I've spent a lot of time investigating Intuitive eating type diets…
i.e. listening to your body, eating when hungry, stop when full etc;
that "dieting makes you fat" and have come to the conclusion
that this advice is very wrong for people who are obese, or reduced obese,
and in fact, I believe that this type of diet
(which is a diet that is allegedly not a diet)
is the VERY WORST of all the many diet's
I've ever investigated, tried, or experimented with…
INCLUDING things like the cabbage soup diet, human growth hormone,
hypnosis, acupuncture, Beverly hills diet, Cambridge diet,
the cookie diet, slim fast, weight-loss supplements etc, etc, etc..

Of course, during my lifetime, I've also belonged to all of the major
diet clubs and organizations, like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig,
Nutrisystem, TOPS, Overeaters Anonymous and on and on and on..

This year, 2012, I'm not finding any books or clubs or diets
with concepts that are new and unique, or interesting to me,
and right now, I'm finding that kind of sad.

My hobby with dieting is still full-steam-ahead, because I'm
very busy with this DietHobby website, with my DietHobby YouTube channel,
and with the diet forums and other dieting websites that I frequently visit.

Still, right now I'm missing reading about new and interesting concepts,
and experimenting with them.
My current weight-loss maintenance simply involves a recycling of
dieting concepts that have worked for me before, even though I'm
rather bored by many of them.

Keeping my calories as low as possible is crucial,
and although I'm been having great success with my diet,
my body keeps fighting my weight-maintenance efforts.
Despite all my low-calorie and exercise efforts,
year after year, as I age, my weight keeps gradually creeping up. 

I'm cheered by the fact, that as long as I continue to keep on with my efforts,
even if this creep does continue,
as an elderly person, my life probably won't be long enough
for that process to return me to obesity. 

So, this past couple of months….
besides being really, really busy,
I just haven't found a lot of things worth talking about,
that I haven't already written about here.
So check out the archives, and read up on my past articles.

Eventually, I'm going to figure out the next step for my Dieting Hobby,
and when I do, you'll be the first to know.

It’s frequently difficult to please the people around us,
especially when those people are the ones that we love dearly.
Although Life is more than just pleasing others,
I've always found it difficult not to try to make other people happy,
even when it results in feeling like life has been drained from me.

For many years of my life,
I felt like I was never a good enough person,
never a good enough daughter,
never a good enough mother.

This is a problem shared by many people.
We often feel driven by the need for approval from those we love.
It is easy to allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children
or teachers or friends to control our lives.
Many adults are still trying to earn the approval
of unpleasable parents...
…or even unpleasable adult children.

There are many keys to success, but one key to failure
is to try to always please someone else.
It is impossible to do everything people want us to do.
If we don't know our own purpose,
we will always try to do too much,
and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict.

In order to develop the inner resources
that are required for us to give to others,
we have to survive,
and to figure out how to make ourselves thrive.

It is important to always keep in mind that our goal in life
can't be to simply please others.
It is not a bad thing to do good things for the ones we love,
but our primary goal must be to figure out a way
to take care of ourselves.

Like in an airline emergency,
we have to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first,
in order to be able to help another person with theirs.

Here are some things that I've learned.

It’s okay to have my own thoughts and opinions. 
I don’t have to agree with the views of everyone else. 
This doesn’t mean I have to be in conflict with others over differing ideas. 
There’s a lot of value in the ability to “agree to disagree”, and
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
 
My feelings are important. 
It isn’t necessary to always downplay my feelings in deference to others. 
This doesn't mean that I ignore the feelings of others. 
It means that I have a right to my feelings, too. 
We often think of feelings as “good” or “bad”
when they just are what they are. 
 
There’s nothing wrong with allowing our own needs to be a priority. 
Sometimes we can think that we are weak to even have needs,
but that isn’t true. 
Having needs merely means that we’re human. 

Just because we recognize our needs
and try to find ways to meet them doesn’t  mean that we’re selfish. 
Some people are selfish with their needs,
but if a person has a strong tendency to please others,
that isn’t likely the case. 
 
It’s impossible to please everyone. 
I do my best to accept that and allow myself to be me. 
I am not responsible for other's expectations, their thoughts or their feelings.

It's sometimes worth considering,
that if others genuinely have unrealistic expectations of you
and take it out on you if you don’t meet them,
perhaps these aren’t healthy relationships. 
and it may be time to distance yourself from them.
 
We need to also consider
that we might perceive that others
have higher expectations of us than they actually do. 
People who are perfectionists,
and who have very high expectations of themselves,
sometimes believe that others expect the same of them
and that isn’t always the case.
 
Sometimes we may have worked so hard at pleasing others
that we aren’t even sure who we are. 
It's okay if it takes time for us to look inside
to see our own thoughts and feelings about things. 
 
It is important not to leave behind the person you are, 
or can become, for the sake of pleasing others. 
It isn’t a fair trade-off. 

Your thoughts, your needs and your feelings are important, too. 
There is no reason you have to ignore them in order to please others. 
Your weight-loss and maintenance efforts are going to take a lot from you.
Focusing on pleasing others can be a big distraction
and none of us needs that. 

Each of us is a special person in this world. 
Put your Focus on who you are and who you want to become.

So far this year, I've spent more time thinking
about what changes I might want to make in my dieting,
than in actually doing anything differently

Sometimes introspection can be a good thing.

Our lives are generated through thoughts.
Our thoughts create our lives
and therefore our thinking can change our lives.

Looking inside and considering one's own mental state
and consciousness, is being introspective.
Introspection is how people learn about themselves
by examining their own behaviors and opinions.

The brain is the most effective tool in any weight loss plan.
We need to get the correct information,
and empowerment to make the correct choices in our diets,
in order to lose weight or to maintain weight-loss.

It takes patience and time to make changes.
Thinking about things can be helpful,
but eventually, we will need to actually choose to do something
and to follow through with that behavior choice.

 
This is a picture of one serving of food from my new cooking video,
Oatmeal Banana Muffin
which is located at DietHobby, under RECIPES,  Mini-Meals.