We spend so much time waiting to be loved,
hoping love will find us,
searching, yearning for that special love.

Feeling empty and lost without it.
Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.
But, that’s not usually how life works.

Loving ourselves is the only dependable way
to create love in each of our own lives.

When we expect love from an external source,
and someone or something does not fulfill our void and fantasies,
then we will feel worse than before.

Each of us is perfect as we are right this minute,
even though we often don’t believe it.

It is also good to create more self-respect
which will help us to love ourselves.
Here are some behavior goals to help accomplish that.

Treat others with love and respect.

Be kind to others, even the “undeserving”.

Express yourself in a loving and nonthreatening way.

Let go of past events—you deserve a fresh beginning.

Forgive yourself – don’t punish yourself for your past behavior.

Focus your mind on positive statements.
DietHobby has a tool that can help you do this.
It is located under RESOURCES, Words of Wisdom Playlist.
Click the link, and at the top of the page, click "Play All",
which will cause each of the short videos to run back-to-back
so you can spend 5 or 10 minutes focused on positive statements.

Write down your experiences and feelings.
Allow yourself to feel good feelings and
when you remember bad experiences,
allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself.
Be willing to be present and accept your own pain and regret.
We can’t expect others to be validating,
and so we need to learn how to validate ourselves.

Work to look past “material” objects and feelings.
We all want nice things and someone to share our life with.
What do you really crave? Figuring out what you really want
will help you get to know yourself better.

Be persistent –work steadily at loving and accepting yourself,
just as you are right now.

Focus on what you HAVE accomplished,
rather than what you haven’t.

Hug the real you.

Be yourself, who you really are, express yourself, laugh, play sing,
and don’t be afraid of what others think. Most of them feel the same way
and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it too.

Trust yourself—Learn to trust who you really are,
rather than blindly following the suggestions of other people.

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There are many things in life that we can’t control,
but within each individual life,
there are other things that we do have control over.

Setting goals helps us take control of our lives.
It gives us a map to show us where we want to go,
instead of letting life just happen by accident.

Individually, we need to find out what our values really are,
so we can decide which goals we want to pursue
and what direction to aim our lives.

 Goals should be:

Positive.
State goals in positive rather than negative terms.
(like: “I am an organized person: instead of “I am not disorganized”
or “I eat 3 meals and nothing in between”, rather than “I don’t eat snacks”)

Present Tense.
State goals as though they are being realized right now,
or have already been attained. The subconscious mind operates in the present.
If we create goals in the future tense, our subconscious will never get there.

Personal:
Goals have to be about you, and under your control,
not about someone else.

Precise:
Goals should be realistic.
Achieving them must be within the realm of possibility.

Powerful.
Use words that convey action and emotion.

  Visualize success.
See yourself achieving your goal.
Picturing a positive outcome is helpful.
If we can see ourselves attaining a goal, we very likely will.
However, if we can’t muster up any image of success,
we very likely will fail.

Visualizing is something all of us do every day.
When we daydream, or think about someone we know,
or remember a place we visited, we are visualizing.
We can use this technique to help us achieve our goals
by seeing ourselves achieving them.

Now that I have about 80% recovery of my broken wrist,
I have begun regularly adding weekly recipe videos to DietHobby.
You can click the link to see my low-calorie version of Taco Salad,
which is located under RESOURCES, Mealtime here at DietHobby.

One of my forum friends recently posted the following statement:

“I have never found that allowing myself to eat whatever I want
stopped me from overeating it at some time.
Processed foods are powerful.
Even thin people overeat them, and sometimes become fat people.

That said, it is still crucial to allow those foods into my plan.
It is important to take away the emotional charge.
But the emotional charge is not the only stimulus.
However, in the right conditions--right amount of pleasure, rest, companionship--
I have them moderately and satisfyingly.”

  This has also been my own general overall experience.
Sometimes I delete specific food for specific time periods,
but eventually, I've always returned to the above-general behavior.

Will I always do that?  I don't know.
I like to always remain open to new possibilities.

Hope.
Each of us knows what it feels like.
Each of us wants to feel it.
But exactly what is it? How do we get it?

Hope is the emotional state
which promotes the belief in a positive outcome
related to events and circumstances in one's life.

It is the feeling that what we want can be had;
or that events will turn out for the best;
or that something desired may happen.

Hope comes into play when things are not going well
or at there’s considerable uncertainty about how things will turn out.
Hope opens us up, removes the blinders of fear and despair
and allows us to see the big picture,
which allows us to become creative and have belief in a better future.

 Hope is cultivated when we have a goal in mind,
determination that a goal can be reached,
and a plan on how to reach those goals.
Hopeful people are like the little engine that could,
because they keep telling themselves "I think I can, I think I can".

Hope is distinct from positive thinking,
which refers to reversing pessimism,
and the term "false hope" refers to a hope
based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.

That said...and as unlikely as it might seem...
I usually feel hopeful.

For those who are following my “Ask Grandma” videos
click to see my latest one: “You Are Stronger Than You Think”
which is located in DietHobby under RESOURCES, Videos, Ask Grandma.