It’s frequently difficult to please the people around us,
especially when those people are the ones that we love dearly.
Although Life is more than just pleasing others,
I've always found it difficult not to try to make other people happy,
even when it results in feeling like life has been drained from me.

For many years of my life,
I felt like I was never a good enough person,
never a good enough daughter,
never a good enough mother.

This is a problem shared by many people.
We often feel driven by the need for approval from those we love.
It is easy to allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children
or teachers or friends to control our lives.
Many adults are still trying to earn the approval
of unpleasable parents...
…or even unpleasable adult children.

There are many keys to success, but one key to failure
is to try to always please someone else.
It is impossible to do everything people want us to do.
If we don't know our own purpose,
we will always try to do too much,
and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict.

In order to develop the inner resources
that are required for us to give to others,
we have to survive,
and to figure out how to make ourselves thrive.

It is important to always keep in mind that our goal in life
can't be to simply please others.
It is not a bad thing to do good things for the ones we love,
but our primary goal must be to figure out a way
to take care of ourselves.

Like in an airline emergency,
we have to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first,
in order to be able to help another person with theirs.

Here are some things that I've learned.

It’s okay to have my own thoughts and opinions. 
I don’t have to agree with the views of everyone else. 
This doesn’t mean I have to be in conflict with others over differing ideas. 
There’s a lot of value in the ability to “agree to disagree”, and
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
 
My feelings are important. 
It isn’t necessary to always downplay my feelings in deference to others. 
This doesn't mean that I ignore the feelings of others. 
It means that I have a right to my feelings, too. 
We often think of feelings as “good” or “bad”
when they just are what they are. 
 
There’s nothing wrong with allowing our own needs to be a priority. 
Sometimes we can think that we are weak to even have needs,
but that isn’t true. 
Having needs merely means that we’re human. 

Just because we recognize our needs
and try to find ways to meet them doesn’t  mean that we’re selfish. 
Some people are selfish with their needs,
but if a person has a strong tendency to please others,
that isn’t likely the case. 
 
It’s impossible to please everyone. 
I do my best to accept that and allow myself to be me. 
I am not responsible for other's expectations, their thoughts or their feelings.

It's sometimes worth considering,
that if others genuinely have unrealistic expectations of you
and take it out on you if you don’t meet them,
perhaps these aren’t healthy relationships. 
and it may be time to distance yourself from them.
 
We need to also consider
that we might perceive that others
have higher expectations of us than they actually do. 
People who are perfectionists,
and who have very high expectations of themselves,
sometimes believe that others expect the same of them
and that isn’t always the case.
 
Sometimes we may have worked so hard at pleasing others
that we aren’t even sure who we are. 
It's okay if it takes time for us to look inside
to see our own thoughts and feelings about things. 
 
It is important not to leave behind the person you are, 
or can become, for the sake of pleasing others. 
It isn’t a fair trade-off. 

Your thoughts, your needs and your feelings are important, too. 
There is no reason you have to ignore them in order to please others. 
Your weight-loss and maintenance efforts are going to take a lot from you.
Focusing on pleasing others can be a big distraction
and none of us needs that. 

Each of us is a special person in this world. 
Put your Focus on who you are and who you want to become.

This week I'm in Detroit, Michigan to attend my step-son's wedding.
It is snowing here.  
Travel is fine, but I love being home in central California
...especially in the winter...
and I'm looking forward to returning there soon. 

It is important to be able to take care of oneself,
but there is a big difference between standing up for yourself
and expressing negative emotions.

Confrontation often isn't necessary.  
Simply examine your thoughts, and practice being present in the moment.

Quiet the anger or sadness with deep breathing.  
Step back from the situation that is troubling you.  
Realize that emotional eating will only add to your problems later on.  

Write out your thoughts and feelings in explosive detail
… but this is for your personal expression…
don't share what you've written with others.

It is critical to learn positive ways to deal with pain, sadness,
depression, and even the spaces that mean comfort or joy.  

We need to feel our emotions instead of suppress them.  
Take each new day and work from the inside,
and focus on the good that is inside each of us.

Meditation and prayer can both be very useful
for calming oneself down, and finding one's center.  

Use positive words about weight-loss and maintenance.
A positive vocabulary will help us make better food choices,
and in time, will help us achieve our goals.

Go for a walk or engage in another positive activity,
like listening to the Words of Wisdom Playlist
located in the RESOURCES section here at DietHobby.

Feelings come and go…both good and bad.
They will always be a part of us.
Purposely place your focus on Positive Thoughts,
and you will feel good a great deal more of the time.

Today I posted a news article about the progress
at DietHobby's companion site at YouTube. 
I've been spending a great deal of time working on that channel,
and as a result, haven't posted much here this week.

I am now shooting 4 videos every week and posting them there.
You can find every one of those videos here at DietHobby
under RESOURCES, Videos, or you can click the link in the recent news article
and go directly to my YouTube DietHobby channel. 

My current video release schedule is:

Ask Grandma:  Fridays
Recipe:  Sundays
Words of Wisdom:  Tuesday and Wednesday

Somewhere around those days, I also share the videos here at this website.

Learning how to prepare for, shoot, edit, and upload those videos
has been challenging, and even after learning how,
there is a great deal of work involved in the process. 

Also, it has been necessary for me to spend a great deal of time
reading and responding to the comments of the YouTube viewers. 
Because of this additional activity, I've had to be less active here at DietHobby.com.

There isn't enough time for me to write an insightful article here every day,
and do all of the other things I need to do,
so my current plan is to keep this website active by continuing to post here frequently,
to share the videos I make here, along with some personal comments,
and to work toward posting a thoughtful article at least once a week. 

FYI, I read all of the comments anyone makes here, 
on all of the articles, no matter when they were posted,
and I also respond to them as soon as possible.

This month I've been suffering from overload.

Not overloaded with too much food, because I've been working hard to avoid that, but rather emotionally overloaded.

Partly this is due to the disruption of my normal routine by my household plumbing emergency and repairs, but a great deal of it is the busy schedule I've been keeping making videos, and answering viewers questions on YouTube.

This YouTube Grandma thing is taking a giant chunk of my time... like almost ALL of it.

The companion DietHobby channel on YouTube now has more than 2000 subscribers. So, I think and write more than ever before, but for right now, most of it is happening on my DietHobby YouTube channel where I'm answering my YouTube Grandbaby's questions about Life-in-general rather than writing about dieting issues here on my website. 

My husband is a Vietnam veteran, and one of the things about that culture that impressed him, was the saying and the attitude..."Buddha Take"... House gone, family gone,... Vietnamese people would just shake their heads open their hands and say "Buddha Take".

That has become a saying in our household when something changes or disappears. "Buddha Take."

I'm striving to achieve a balance, and I believe this will happen,
but it may take awhile.
So, if you come here and wonder what is happening,
where are all the insightful articles about dieting issues, ......... 
"Buddha Take"