What does normal mean?

The dictionary defines normal as:

* conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern;
* relating to average intelligence or development;
*  free from mental disorder: sane.

With regards to weight, normal is defined as
having a BMI between 18.5 and 24.9.

Many people consider the word “normal”
to mean “average”.

“Normal” is different things to different people.
Each of us have our own definition of what “normal” is.
Our viewpoint is influenced by our family and friends,
and our cultural and social background.

 The advertising media is part of our social background,
and have had a large part in shaping our concepts of “normal”
in our own lives, and the lives of our parents,
and even the lives of our grandparents and great-grandparents.

So, we tend to define “normal”
based on what we have been TOLD is normal.
The word for being not normal is “abnormal”.
The word “abnormal” simply means deviating from the normal or average,
but that word has a strongly negative connotation for most of us.

  Why is “normal” even important?
Because deep inside, most of us believe that
being “normal” is good, and
while being better than normal is good,
being “abnormal” is bad.

What is considered “normal” eating in our culture?

* Hamburgers go with french fries and a soda or milkshake.

*  Sandwiches go with potato chips and a soda.

*  Ice cream, cakes, pies, cookies. candy and other sweet desserts
should be frequently eaten as part of our normal meals;
as snacks; during social events; and especially all during holidays.

*  Chips and crackers and popcorn are acceptable between meal options
as well as excellent side dishes.

*  Cold cereals (most of which are 90%+ sugar)
are optional and suitable breakfast foods.

While dieting, those of us with weight problems
learn to eat differently than “normal” while we are losing weight.
But most of us expect to return to “normal” eating,
once we’ve achieved our goal weight.
  Unfortunately, when we do this, we regain our lost weight plus more,
and we beat ourselves up emotionally…because we aren’t “normal”.

I’ve found that in order to succeed at maintaining my large weight-loss,
it has been necessary for me to redefine normal.
My ongoing job is to establish a NEW normal.
That is what a change in lifestyle actually means.

What is Trust?

The dictionary definition is:
         "Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing"

There are areas of my life in which I can trust myself,
and other areas and situations in which I cannot be trusted by anyone.

I can trust myself to engage in positive behaviors in many areas,
yet in other areas and situations, I demonstrate very little positive ability or character.
For example, I can ordinarily be trusted not to steal,
but I cannot be trusted alone in a house
with a favorite sweet that I haven't had for some time.
......even if it is YOUR house.....

I can trust myself to consistently record all of my food-intake,
but I can't trust my own body to tell me
the amount that I need to eat to maintain my current weight.
My mind also sometimes lies to me about what I need to eat.

So...the wisdom of placing trust in oneself...can be situational.

                                 
                 

We spend so much time waiting to be loved,
hoping love will find us,
searching, yearning for that special love.

Feeling empty and lost without it.
Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.
But, that’s not usually how life works.

Loving ourselves is the only dependable way
to create love in each of our own lives.

When we expect love from an external source,
and someone or something does not fulfill our void and fantasies,
then we will feel worse than before.

Each of us is perfect as we are right this minute,
even though we often don’t believe it.

It is also good to create more self-respect
which will help us to love ourselves.
Here are some behavior goals to help accomplish that.

Treat others with love and respect.

Be kind to others, even the “undeserving”.

Express yourself in a loving and nonthreatening way.

Let go of past events—you deserve a fresh beginning.

Forgive yourself – don’t punish yourself for your past behavior.

Focus your mind on positive statements.
DietHobby has a tool that can help you do this.
It is located under RESOURCES, Words of Wisdom Playlist.
Click the link, and at the top of the page, click "Play All",
which will cause each of the short videos to run back-to-back
so you can spend 5 or 10 minutes focused on positive statements.

Write down your experiences and feelings.
Allow yourself to feel good feelings and
when you remember bad experiences,
allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself.
Be willing to be present and accept your own pain and regret.
We can’t expect others to be validating,
and so we need to learn how to validate ourselves.

Work to look past “material” objects and feelings.
We all want nice things and someone to share our life with.
What do you really crave? Figuring out what you really want
will help you get to know yourself better.

Be persistent –work steadily at loving and accepting yourself,
just as you are right now.

Focus on what you HAVE accomplished,
rather than what you haven’t.

Hug the real you.

Be yourself, who you really are, express yourself, laugh, play sing,
and don’t be afraid of what others think. Most of them feel the same way
and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it too.

Trust yourself—Learn to trust who you really are,
rather than blindly following the suggestions of other people.

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There are many things in life that we can’t control,
but within each individual life,
there are other things that we do have control over.

Setting goals helps us take control of our lives.
It gives us a map to show us where we want to go,
instead of letting life just happen by accident.

Individually, we need to find out what our values really are,
so we can decide which goals we want to pursue
and what direction to aim our lives.

 Goals should be:

Positive.
State goals in positive rather than negative terms.
(like: “I am an organized person: instead of “I am not disorganized”
or “I eat 3 meals and nothing in between”, rather than “I don’t eat snacks”)

Present Tense.
State goals as though they are being realized right now,
or have already been attained. The subconscious mind operates in the present.
If we create goals in the future tense, our subconscious will never get there.

Personal:
Goals have to be about you, and under your control,
not about someone else.

Precise:
Goals should be realistic.
Achieving them must be within the realm of possibility.

Powerful.
Use words that convey action and emotion.

  Visualize success.
See yourself achieving your goal.
Picturing a positive outcome is helpful.
If we can see ourselves attaining a goal, we very likely will.
However, if we can’t muster up any image of success,
we very likely will fail.

Visualizing is something all of us do every day.
When we daydream, or think about someone we know,
or remember a place we visited, we are visualizing.
We can use this technique to help us achieve our goals
by seeing ourselves achieving them.

One of my forum friends recently posted the following statement:

“I have never found that allowing myself to eat whatever I want
stopped me from overeating it at some time.
Processed foods are powerful.
Even thin people overeat them, and sometimes become fat people.

That said, it is still crucial to allow those foods into my plan.
It is important to take away the emotional charge.
But the emotional charge is not the only stimulus.
However, in the right conditions--right amount of pleasure, rest, companionship--
I have them moderately and satisfyingly.”

  This has also been my own general overall experience.
Sometimes I delete specific food for specific time periods,
but eventually, I've always returned to the above-general behavior.

Will I always do that?  I don't know.
I like to always remain open to new possibilities.