Todays' "Words of Wisdom" video (see below)
mentions the space between Stimulus and Response.

Many people are not aware that such a space exists.
But awareness of the existence of that space
is a pre-requisite to the use of it.

I've learned that ...if I look...that space is there,
even for me...who is a person with
a long history of bingeing and compusive eating.

It might be more difficult for some than for others,
but...despite what we may tell ourselves...
or what we are told by "eating disorder experts"
each of us always has that choice....

But before we can use it,
we need to become conscious of it.

When we think about establishing Habits,
most of us focus on the later stage of the process
where things start to become natural,
instead of those difficult early days
where there seem to be more failures than successes.

At the beginning stage, we need to focus
on building the foundations of a new habit 
before expecting a long string of successes.  

It is important to start out with small steps.
Be specific about the exact behavior desired.
A list, or chart, or reward system can help support habit building,
but keep it simple.

In the early days of Habit building,
it's usually easier to stick with it,
when we aren't continually reminded
of our up-and-down progress.

Keep the Focus on individual days,
rather than weeks or months.
Because dealing with long time periods can be very discouraging.
Each day I give myself a fresh start. 

 This morning I decided to...again...work to implement
some habits that would be helpful in my weight maintenance.
I prepared a small chart for myself that dealt with a few of my problem areas
and the Habits that might help eliminate them
...similar to the No S Diet's Habitcal idea,...
Except...my chart covers only one individual day,...today...
and even breaks that day into several different time periods.

Then tomorrow, I'll use another, new duplicate chart,
with a new fresh start.

If, in the future, I want to put that information together,
for detailed analysis, it would be easy to do so,
but for now, this very simple one-day-at-a-time focus
is the only way I can manage to get myself to stick with my efforts.

For those of you who are following my YouTube Ask Grandma videos,
you can see the latest one by clicking  HERE,
which is located at DietHobby under RESOURCES, Videos, Ask Grandma.

We are who we are
because of all the things we have done,
the choices we have made and not made,
and the experiences that we’ve had throughout our lives.

To be upset, to hold a grudge, or harbor a regret
about something that happened in our lives in our past
is a pointless waste of time and energy.

I’ve made some “incorrect” choices, but so what?
Those decisions led me down a different path
than I might have ended up on,
had I not made that choice,
But without it, I would most certainly, not be me.

 Would I be ANYTHING like the person I am today,
without many of those experiences?
I don’t think so.

I made many stupid decisions in my life,
and I made some very good ones as well.
All these decisions, good and bad, have fused together
into making me the unique person that I am today.

I am the sum of every experience that I have ever had in my life,
every decision that I have ever made, every concept I have ever learned,
and every lesson forgotten.

We are who we are, because
we have been who we have been.
This is what makes each of us a unique human being
each with our own set of gifts to offer the world. 

Originally posted by member in a weight-loss forum

"After looking over my data for the past 9 months,
I conclude that I need to be eating about 1200 calories a day
and exercising the equivalent of 200 calories a day.
Otherwise, I am going to stay right where I am.

Now, can accomplish this behavior???
I am not sure.
I know I don't like being stuck where I am.

So, it is my choice.

I realize that due to injuries my daily movement
has been curtailed and conserved.
My "need" for food stays the same, however."

This is an excellent statement about the problem that many of us have in common,
especially older "reduced obese" women.  After carefully recording our food-intake
and weight data in computer software journals, our data reveals a rather unpleasant truth. 

The calorie needs of our older bodies is far, far less than our appetites;
many of our aging bodies simply will not tolerate heavy exercise;
and our true calorie need is a number far, far lower
than what the "expert" charts indicate is correct for us.

We have to ask ourselves:
"Are we willing to trade the food to be a "normal" size?"
and
"Can we get ourselves to eat in that manner?"

There's a lot currently written about what our bodies required in Paleolithic times,
and I've been thinking about elderly women in that time.
First...there weren't very many post-menopausal women around...
and I imagine that those who did survive to become old, 
had to "earn their keep". 

Since the women were past childbearing years;
the ability to do a lot of physically hard work reduces with age;
and age doesn't necessarily come with increased wisdom,
it would be reasonable to assume that they had less value for their "tribe"
so probably it would have been an important asset 
to have a body that required less food to survive.

What does this mean currently?
I don't know, but I find it interesting to consider.

                   
I frequently visit and participate in various online weight-loss forums.
This morning I posted the following message in one such forum and am choosing to post it here as well.

Posted by a member of a weight-loss forum:

"My questions for you are as follows:

During your weight loss phase did you commit to it
and never look back or were you slipping up here and there?

As a maintainer, do you find that the internal struggle over food
is the same as it was when you were heavy
(I am referring to the guilt of overeating and at times, feeling out of control)?

I have never even been within 30 lbs of goal so I really don't know what it is like.
I slip up a little now and I was not sure if this eventually gets better, worse,
or stays the same."

I've never been perfect, not in my weight-loss phase nor here in my maintenance phase, and slip-ups-here-and-there have always been part of my process.

As a maintainer, the internal struggle over food is about the same.  One part of me wants to eateverything I want, whenever I want to, and the other part of me wants to maintain my weight-loss. These are strong desires that continue to oppose each other.

  However,  when I overeat, I am always conscious of the fact that it is a CHOICE,
and now, when I have out-of-control feelings, it is NOT that I actually have no control or choice about overeating behavior

......despite the intensity of the desires or the difficulty of the struggle, I know that what I put in my mouth is my own choice..... Whether I overeat, eat compulsively, or binge.. I'm choosing my behavior.

I still have out-of-control feelings frequently,  but these are primarily due to the failure of my body to give me positive weight results even after I've chosen to engage in positive eating behavior.

 Bottom Line.... for me... The process and the feelings are forever.
Time doesn't improve them. The only effective response is ACCEPTANCE, of the feelings and of the struggle. ....understanding that it is a part of my life,  and there is no escape possible.

Being fat is hard;
Losing weight is hard;
Maintaining weight is hard;
Choose your hard.