Be Who You Are

We spend our lives trying to be the person
we think we should be.
Many of those “shoulds” come from outside sources:
our family and friends, or society in general.
As children we are asked:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
We’re told to: “Get good grades.”
We’re asked: “When are you two going to tie the knot/have kids?”
We’re told to “Lose weight”, “Be Lean”,
“Get fit”, “Get “Healthy”, “Build muscle”;
or sometimes asked:
“Don’t you think it’s about time you took off a few pounds?”

Sometimes the “shoulds” are not so obvious,
but are even more pervasive. 

 We see how things work on TV
and unconsciously believe that our lives must follow.
That we’ve got to live an upscale magazine advertisement life,
spending our time in a tidy and well-ordered house,
surrounded by lovable and perfect friends and family.

And sometimes, those “shoulds” come from within.
These are the worst, because it means we’ve internalized
all those outside shoulds, taken them for our own,
and stirred into the mix our own personal flaws
together with our guilt about them.
Many of us truly secretly believe that we should look similar
to the airbrushed pictures of genetically blessed people
who spend most of their lives working to enhance the appearance
of their already “perfect” bodies and faces.

We work on the goals we think we should have,
instead of the things we really want to do,
and then wonder why we feel vaguely dissatisfied
when we achieve them.

 Of course, we do have to eat to sustain life
…and for many of us…
what, and how much, we choose to eat
is a problem we have to deal with.

We need a place to stay warm and dry.
We need love, too. But all the rest of it?
Why not be who you really are instead?

Being who you really are means being brave.
It means taking risks.

It means saying hey, this is who I am,
I hope you like me, but even if you don’t,
I’m going to keep right on being myself.

  Who are you really?
What are your own personal dreams?
Can you distinguish what is fantasy from what is really possible?
What are you willing to do
in order to make those of your dreams that are possible,
come true?

If you aren’t living your own dreams
— or at least trying to —
whose life are you living?