Being Resilient is a very good thing.

What is Resilience?

“Resilience is an individual's tendency to cope with stress and adversity. This coping may result in the individual "bouncing back" to a previous state of normal functioning, or simply not showing negative effects.”

“Resilience is that quality which allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever.”

“Resilience is a dynamic process whereby individuals exhibit positive behavioral adaptation when they encounter significant adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress.”

Today, for me, personal resilience means that after overeating yesterday, this morning, I have been able to encourage myself to put forth my best dieting efforts, yet again.

I enjoyed this video, although I am a “cat person” rather than a "dog person",  Perhaps you will too.

Most people sometimes feel a strong inner drive to be “perfect” despite the fact that perfection is an impossible and often self-defeating goal.

Just like in every area of life, whatever diet, food plan, or way-of-eating, that one chooses can never be followed perfectly. Each of us makes many independent daily food choices based on what we feel best fits with our own lifestyle and personal eating philosophy. We aren’t all the same, and I believe that we shouldn’t try to be. However, there are a few helpful things that we might want to keep in mind while making those daily food choices.

Perfect is the Enemy of Good.

Everywhere we read conflicting information about what foods we should eat, which micronutrient or chemical contained in food should-we-choose-to-eat-or-not-eat to make us normal weight, and keep us from illness or death (i.e. healthy).

Our modern world will never be perfectly free of contaminants.

Okay, it’s the collective fault of society, but there is no going back. Also, life-spans here in the modern world are longer and more disease free … overall for more people … than life-spans were in our recorded past. So since we can't have perfectly pure food, the operative question in the real world is: Which of the available food choices are acceptable for me to realistically consume in my own life? What won’t make me fat, sick, or kill me?

Risks outside our control tend to get exaggerated.

We are frequently told that we should not eat this or that food substance, AND we are frequently told that we should eat these specific food substances.

People tend to get very worked up over what is perceived as the latest “chemical threat” in our food. Instead, we need to focus on the large risks that are within our control, … like focusing on the AMOUNTS of the readily available food that we eat … rather than exaggerating the smaller threats of what specific foods contain, just because the way that these micronutrients or other chemicals are handled often appear to be outside of our personal control.

New in the news is not new in the world.

When the news media highlights a “chemical threat” the tendency is to think the threat itself is new; that the consequences are unknown, and in the future. But if some chemical in foods does actually contribute to the risk of disease, it’s been doing so for years. That risk isn’t something looming in our future, it’s already in the present, and already part of the life we now live.

Perfectly pure food is not available on this planet. Instead of focusing on the latest news media hype, we need to do the best we can with the food supply we've got.

So lets focus on eating readily-available food in ways that will provide us with a personally satisfying lifestyle while understanding that EVERY person cannot achieve a slim, shapely, fit and toned body; that most diseases are simply a risk of life; that our bodies are designed to wear out; and that death will eventually arrive for everyone.

  
People who PRETEND that the way-of-eating they’ve personally chosen
“is not a diet” often assume a superior tone, and put negative labels
on others whose personal eating plan choices are different from their own.
Most of us are familiar with their contempteous labels: “diet mentality” or “Diethead”.

Personally, I love a new diet. 
If you look … and even sometimes when you don’t….
you can always find new diets, new theories on how to lose weight
or to maintain weight-loss.

I often find pleasure in trying out a new diet.
It’s an enjoyable part of my dieting Hobby.

 Setting forth on any new path can bring a feeling of Hopeful Anticipation.
It frequently happens when we’re in the early stages of a new relationship
whether it’s with a new person, or with a new activity such as a new diet.

How do you stick to a diet … any diet, after the NEW wears off ?
That’s a tough one.

Choose the diet that is easiest for you to follow.
All diets require you to monitor your consumption of something.
You need to count calories, carbs, fats, fiber or something.
Which one is the easiest?
That’s really up to you.

Maybe you feel physically better following one diet over the others.
Feeling healthy can help you find the strength to stick to the plan you choose.

A Diet doesn't have to be a lifelong committment.
There are hundreds of diets out there.
Many different ways of eating.
If you really don't know which diet you’d like best,
just give one a brief test drive.
Everything isn’t black and white, success or failure. 
Check out how easy a diet is to understand and follow,
and how you think you’ll feel when you’re eating in that manner.
Then … if you want to …. go for it.

If it doesn’t work out for you,
another will come along,
and maybe THAT one will.

 Eating is just another part of life,
and there are many different ways to do it.

                                            
I recently received this message from someone considering weight loss surgery:

"I read your blog and certainly appreciate your openness and frankness concerning your stuggles. I guess my question for you would be...do you think you would have lost that initial 111 pounds if you had not had the RNY surgery? Or do you feel the surgery was necessary to give you the jumpstart you needed toward reaching your goal?"

In my lifetime, every pound I've ever lost, no matter how I lost it, took a great deal of effort.
I don't consider my weight loss from 271 down to 160 lbs, with a subsequent regain back to 190,
as a "jumpstart" toward my lifetime goal of being "normal" weight.

By that consideration, every weight-loss I've ever had ... at every time in my life... would have been a jumpstart, including all the times before when I lost 100 or 50 or 30 lbs, and regained all or some of it.   See ABOUT ME for more details.

What IF?  
There is no way that I can answer your question.
What if I'd been born male instead of female?
What if I'd been born to different parents?
What if I had not chosen to marry my first husband?
What if I hadn't had children,
or if I'd had them at a different stage of my life?
What if I had developed a smoking habit in my youth?
What if I'd decided not to go to Law School & chosen a different career?

WLS is a life-changing event. It is not a final answer for obesity,
but it changes one's body permanently, it gives one knowledge,
and living through the experience changes one's life history emotionally.

It is useless to go back in time to second guess the possible results of having different events wthin our lives. Doing so is merely a meaningless mental exercise which does nothing to predict anyone's future.

Although there are life choices we CAN make, both large choices, and daily small choices, the final outcomes of those choices are not within our control.

Consider the alternatives.
Consider your own personal abilities and objectives.
As much as possible, make conscious choices.
Then,    live with the results of that choice,
while accepting that the choice you made was the right one for you.

When people undermine your dreams,
Predict your Doom, or criticize you,
Remember,
They're telling you Their story, not Yours.