Human beings have this unique ability
to focus on things that aren't happening right now.

That allows them to reflect on the past and learn from it;
it allows them to anticipate and plan for the future;
and it allows them to imagine things that might never occur.

While we may believe we want to live in the moment....
most of us share the philosophy portayed by the following cartoon.

BUT, of course,
the only time each of us really has is right now.

I tend to ..(not so secretly).. be self-absorbed.

Today is Friday of Memorial Day Weekend.
When I hear the term “Memorial Day Weekend”,
My first thought is the sight, smell, and taste of food at a backyard BBQ.
Next I think of the fact that Summer is beginning,
and then about past or future camping trips to the mountains
or the beach and other vacations.

 Later I think of putting flowers at the grave sites of departed family members,
and about the TV war movies my husband is going to have on for three days.

These mental pictures contain both positives and negatives.
They can lead me to the pleasant or to the unpleasant.
To feelings of Hope and Joy, or of Loss and Sadness.

I can’t keep my mind from touching on unpleasant past or future events,
but I do have the ability to consciously change my mental focus
 by directing my mind toward the more pleasant memories or current events.

Just like with all worthwhile things, learning this skill takes consistent effort,
but when my Thoughts change….so do my Feelings…and my Behavior.
I find it impossible to directly change my feelings,
…and directly changing my behavior…without first changing my thoughts…
is equally impossible for me.

So, for me, all positive change in my life begins
with me working toward positive thoughts.

My number one positive Thought is this......

Even with all of my flaws,
I am an acceptable human being,
and it is Okay to be me.

                   
Over the past seven years
I’ve spent quite a bit of time online
at various weight-loss sites and forums.

I developed my special favorites,
and I’ve posted links to a few of them
here at DietHobby under RESOURCES, Links.

Participating in an ongoing Blog or Forum can be enlightening,
As I read the comments of others, I learn about myself.

I become aware of the ways I am similar and different
from the person posting, and gain insight about my own behavior.

I find that my own attitude greatly determines whether or not
I find pleasure in ANY of the things I choose to do,
and I feel grateful for the ability to influence it,
by purposely directing my thoughts toward the positives.

 I like watching people succeed,
and I enjoy sharing in their happiness.

Sometimes I also learn a great deal from watching people
whose behavior and manner of thinking actually feels annoying to me.
I find something admirable in a person who consistently shares
by posting their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors,
even when this allows an outside eye to clearly identify
their failures, denial, and unusual ways of thinking.

I find great value in the work of changing myself.
I need to adapt and learn to adjust to the circumstances surrounding me
in order to accept the frequent changes which are necessarily involved in living.

There is so much information now at my fingertips.
Most of my life was spent before individual computers existed.
Books have always been my friends.
but computers and online communication add a great deal to my life.
I feel grateful that this opportunity exists in the dawn of my old age.

                
Stress management is a necessary skill for everyone.

Learning to identify problems and implement solutions
is the key to successful stress reduction. 

The first step in successful stress relief
is deciding to make a change in how we manage stress.

The next step is identifying our stress triggers.
Some causes of stress are obvious —
job pressures, relationship problems or financial difficulties.
But daily hassles and demands can also contribute to our stress level.
Even positive events can be stressful.
Once we've identified our stress triggers,
we can start thinking about strategies for dealing with them.
Sometimes the solution may be as easy as turning off the TV
when the evening news is too distressing.
Or, when we can't avoid a stressful situation,
we can try brainstorming ways to reduce the irritation factor.

We don't feel have to figure it out all on our own. 
We can seek help and support from family and friends.
We can ask them what stress-relief techniques have worked well for them.
And many people benefit from daily practice of stress reduction techniques,
such as mindfulness, tai chi, yoga, meditation or being in nature.
Stress won't disappear from our lives.
And stress management isn't an overnight cure.
But with practice, we can learn to manage our stress levels
and increase our ability to cope with life's challenges.

Anne Barone's description of growing up in the 1950s mirrors my own experience,
and I am very entertained by her Puritan vs. French comparison.

"Blame it on the Puritans.
If you wonder why the French, the most food-obsessed people on the planet,
can eat all that cream, butter, and egg yolks and struggle far less with excess weight
than Americans who dutifully take home shopping bags of sugarless and fat-free,
the answer is: the Puritans.

The French never had any; the Americans did.
The French had Joan of Arc, Napoleon Bonaparte,
Charles de Gaulle, and Brigitte Bardot.
But no Puritans.

Back in 1620 when the Puritans stepped off the Mayflower,
they brought with them the intellectual baggage that if something feels good
and makes us happy, it is bad. Discomfort and sacrifice are good.
The more uncomfortable and unpleasurable something is, the Puritans thought,
the better for you. Of course this Puritan philosophy grew out of strong religious conviction.

The French were also religious -- in their own fashion.
When they wanted to give thanks to God, they built -- by hand, no less --
huge, architecturally magnificent Gothic cathedrals. The construction of Chartres,
no doubt, burned more calories than all the Jane Fonda workout videos ever sold.

For Thanksgiving, the American Puritans fixed a big dinner and ate it.
Our annual reenactment of this feast kicks off that part of the year
when the average American gains six pounds.

The Puritan legacy was still strong three centuries later
when I was growing up in the 1950s.
In that small Bible Belt town, drinking alcohol was a sin, smoking was a sin,
playing cards was sin, dancing was a sin, and going to the movies was a sin.
Any effort to improve your appearance was viewed with suspicion.
Once I arrived at a friend's house to find her grandmother in a rage.
Pointing a damning finger, she demanded, "What do you think about
a girl who would go against the will of God?"
My friend, it turned out, had straightened her naturally curly hair.

In that Bible Belt milieu, sex outside marriage put you on the fast track to Hell.
As for sex in marriage, you weren't supposed to enjoy it.
The only sanctioned pleasurable activity was eating.
I have witnessed church family night dinners that were food orgies
that would have shocked the un-Puritanical French right out of their socks.

The French seek equal pleasure in a well-prepared meal as in a session of
passionate lovemaking. Actually the French favor alternating one with the other.

But everything in moderation.
The French, after all, coined the phrase "la douceur de vivre, the sweetness of living".
Americans coined the phrase "No pain, no gain."
The way this works, you go through the pain of dieting.
Then you gain it all back.

THE NOUVEAUX PURITANS

In recent decades American Puritanism has undergone an evolution.
Activities no longer prohibited for religious or moral reasons,
are now on the no-no list as unhealthy. This has given the Puritan mentality
an in-road to spoiling our previously okay pleasure in eating. The rules are simple:
Anything that tastes good, like grilled steak, cheese enchiladas, fresh-brewed coffee,
or Key lime pie, are poisons, guaranteed to kill us. Foods such as tofu, bean sprouts,
and plain low-fat yogurt are cure-alls promised to put the medical profession
out of business and make us all live to 110.

Most new products the food industry has put on the shelves recently carry some
(mostly overhyped) health claim. And whatever the fad health food,
they add it to everything. During the oat bran craze about the only products
on the supermarket shelf without this gritty little addition was laundry detergent
and disposable diapers.

These Nouveux Puritans have studies to back up their claims.
But my faith in "studies" is weak. I remember one study that concluded that
wearing lipstick caused cancer. However, to ingest as much lipstick as they had
pumped into those poor little research mice, a human had to eat 90 tubes of lipstick per day!

Across the Atlantic the French hear the results of the American Nouveux Puritan
food studies, pause a moment from eating their pate de fois gras, cut a bite of bifteck,
sip their Beaujolais, and contemplate the cheese tray as they shrug and say,
"Il sont fous, ces Americains. They're crazy, those Americans."

I first became aware of this quote from the book Chic & Sllm (2001) by Anne Barone
several years ago when it was posted by wones, who is active in the No S Diet forum,
and is also registered here at DietHobby.