What If?

- POSTED ON: Sep 22, 2012

I recently received this message from someone considering weight loss surgery:

"I read your blog and certainly appreciate your openness and frankness concerning your stuggles. I guess my question for you would be...do you think you would have lost that initial 111 pounds if you had not had the RNY surgery? Or do you feel the surgery was necessary to give you the jumpstart you needed toward reaching your goal?"

In my lifetime, every pound I've ever lost, no matter how I lost it, took a great deal of effort.
I don't consider my weight loss from 271 down to 160 lbs, with a subsequent regain back to 190,
as a "jumpstart" toward my lifetime goal of being "normal" weight.

By that consideration, every weight-loss I've ever had ... at every time in my life... would have been a jumpstart, including all the times before when I lost 100 or 50 or 30 lbs, and regained all or some of it.   See ABOUT ME for more details.

What IF?  
There is no way that I can answer your question.
What if I'd been born male instead of female?
What if I'd been born to different parents?
What if I had not chosen to marry my first husband?
What if I hadn't had children,
or if I'd had them at a different stage of my life?
What if I had developed a smoking habit in my youth?
What if I'd decided not to go to Law School & chosen a different career?

WLS is a life-changing event. It is not a final answer for obesity,
but it changes one's body permanently, it gives one knowledge,
and living through the experience changes one's life history emotionally.

It is useless to go back in time to second guess the possible results of having different events wthin our lives. Doing so is merely a meaningless mental exercise which does nothing to predict anyone's future.

Although there are life choices we CAN make, both large choices, and daily small choices, the final outcomes of those choices are not within our control.

Consider the alternatives.
Consider your own personal abilities and objectives.
As much as possible, make conscious choices.
   live with the results of that choice,
while accepting that the choice you made was the right one for you.

Leave me a comment.

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Existing Comments:

On Sep 22, 2012 Alma wrote:
I dislike "What If's" because I have to look at the FULL picture and ask if I would like to give up my kids, memories and lessons that came naturally with "LIFE" as I lived it. We are always supposed to be reaching higher and higher and for better things. When our life is over.....we will leave those behind with the knowledge that we "Did It Our Way" whether others think it was right or wrong. Fulfillment is when one of our children, grand children or their friends say thank you for our endeavors and input in their lives that they feel made a much better person of them. I do know that if I can't afford something, I will regroup and find a different way around. I know that I can't afford surgery for a weight loss but the terrorizing fear that I will lose and not be able to afford surgery to remove the flaps of skin is a greater problem. I will cross that path if and when I reach it. I have watched many of your videos. As you are putting the dish together, I am salivating without benefit of the aromas teasing me. I had to laugh when I realized you also are salivating as you try to get through the video. I acknowledged that I would be one of those people who would stretch my stomach again. We are truly kindred sisters in our love of GOOD FOOD. I count my blessings that it is not alcohol or drugs..........LOL!

On Sep 23, 2012 Dr. Collins wrote:
             Hi Alma Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. You are correct in that I DO LOVE FOOD. Put that loose skin fear to rest. Loose skin, so what, it's not really a big deal. As you know, I was really, really fat and have lost lots and lots of weight, (again and again) and although I had WLS in my 40s, I've never had any kind of plastic surgery to remove excess skin and I don't feel a need to do so. Even old skin shrinks a great deal over time; plastic surgery is painful as well as expensive; and a tummy tuck on an older reduced obese woman isn't going to fix "Everything". I look really good dressed in attractive clothing, and I don't feel a need to wear a bathing suit, or shorts, or sleeveless tops in public. Really, such skin exposure is unattractive on almost every woman over age 60.. even women who've always been normal weight. I didn't look like Jane Fonda when I was 17, and I don't look like her now in my 60s, and that's okay. (Even Jane Fonda looks better with clothes nowadays.) I've got tons of wrinkles and looser skin just because of being old, and I'm also not going to have plastic surgery to conceal my age. My skin "flaws" are all just part of me and my life experiences.

On Sep 23, 2012 Alma wrote:
Thanks for making me think about this. You are absolutely right.

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